Adventure Capitalist

I’ve talked to several people over the last few days about people that seem to be perpetually depressed/down, insecure and suffer from low self esteem, people who simply accept being victims to their circumstances rather than taking charge of their own lives.

People who have known me all my life are probably aware of it, but for people who have not known me quite so long might be surprised when I tell people that less than ten years ago I was an insecure mess: low self esteem, quite unhappy, socially awkward, a complete door mat and wuss. I was probably not unlike a lot of other people in their late teens/early twenties in being uncomfortable in my own skin and not thinking too highly of myself. Some grow out of it, others don’t, personally, I had to actively work on it.

I’ve come a long way since: sure, I have no illusions about being the second coming of Christ, but on the other hand I am comfortable in my own skin, I know what I’m good at (and what I need to work on), I don’t doubt myself and I tend to go for what I want. I figure the worst thing that can happen is that I won’t get it, which will be no change at all compared to not trying at all. I’m happy, content but still wanting more in life, and I am in charge and in control of my own destiny.

What brought about this transformation? Well, it was a very simple, but powerful realization: You are in control of how you feel about yourself. All it requires is self-awareness, and a willingness to recognize and direct your own thoughts.

Thinking negative thoughts about yourself or your situation? Be aware of it, catch it and stop it. It’s as simple as that, redirecting thoughts, they’re yours after all, so why wouldn’t you be able to control them? Doubting yourself? Is there a real reason, or is it “just because”? “Just because” is not a reason, so throw it to the side. If there is a real reason, you can address it, attack it, deal with it.
Take charge and control the things you can, stop worrying about the things you can’t control. Simple.

Taking charge of your own life and how you feel about yourself is the simplest thing in the world, I did it many years ago and it has become habitual since, it is an ingrained part of my personality and central nervous system by now. It’s second nature, I don’t even think about it anymore.
Getting started is about as hard as starting with a new exercise regime a few times a week: you have to swat away the bullshit excuses you make up for yourself to not do it during the first couple of weeks and just get on with it, before too long your exercise regime will be second nature and you will feel strange if you miss a session. The same thing goes for your mental workout: just catch your bullshit excuses for what they are, get on with it and before too long you will be feeling more in control.

And the good news? Taking control of your mental processes is a lot simpler than getting your body into shape, and once your up and running your new habits will become part of your “mental muscle memory” a lot faster than you could learn any motor skills for sports.

I don’t believe in there being inherently “strong” or “weak” people, “happy” or “unhappy” people, at least not so long as there is no underlying disease. There are just people who decide to be in control of their own lives, and those that decide (or more often than not: make no decision) to be passive passengers to old negative habits ingrained in their subconscious. To me, taking control seems the superior choice by far.